
One time I bought some beer for Christmas Eve with my family and the cashier saw that I was 24 and went "Yep, almost 30!" Ouch! 6 years away and I was almost 30? Well, her perception of time may be off from most of us, but 6 years is a long time!

Now I'm a year and a half away from being 30 and I could care less. Age means nothing, it's just how many times you've been around the sun. We created time so that life felt less unnerving-- can you imagine if we didn't create the concept of time and life just went on and on?

Time gives us anchor points of how old we are, and society tells us how far in life we must be at that age. Thankfully, society is usually wrong and simply dogmatic.

The truth is, you can do anything at any age, for the most part. People like to say "I'm too old to do x" but that is an excuse. If you have a drive to do something, you can do it, that's the beauty of life.

Time may not be real, but it's also important not to waste it. Don't waste the short amount of time you have on this rock doing things you don't enjoy or that don't lead you to a better life.


Time Isn't Real


Some people want to be remembered, be it for or their accomplishments, their personality, or other personal affects. There's nothing wrong with that inherently, but being remembered is pointless if you won't be there to experience it.

When you're dead, you won't be able to benefit from the fruits of your labor. You won't be in the room at your funeral where everyone commemorates your life. Why worry about something you can't enjoy?

It's better to want to be memorable now. Make people acknowledge you and your talents in the present. Be the person you want to be remembered as while you can reap the rewards-- it's pointless otherwise.

Don't just tell people how incredible you are, show them with actions that can't be interpreted in the wrong way words can.

Beyond your talents, being a source of positivity and hope is also a great way to get people thinking about you. If you're a miserable person, it will be no wonder why no one wants to remember you now, and when you're gone people will only think of how nice it is you aren't moping around anymore.

Become irreplaceable, then you truly will never be forgotten.


Don't Be A Martyr


This scenario has played out for you and everyone else in the world: You finally find someone worth their weight in gold. They could be best friend material, a soulmate, or just a straight up pleasant person to interact with.

Things are going great, but then seemingly out of nowhere, contact ceases. No more good morning texts, no more I love you's-- radio silence.

It's annoying as hell, so why does it happen? What causes someone to ghost us? Well, it's a lot of things, but it's mostly down to human nature.

## Relationships are transactional

The reason people are in your life is because they get something from you. This can be sex, validation, money, or companionship. When someone ghosts you, it's because they feel like they aren't getting one of these things from you.

Not only that, but they perceive their value as being higher than yours. You're the one that needs them, not the other way around. A girl may ghost you because she sees that her value is way up there in the clouds and yours is in the gutter. A high status or value person typically doesn't want to be associated with one of low value.

This can happen when a girl senses the desperation in a man. A high value man would never act in or display emotions of despereation. Act like you can do better, and other people can sense it. If you don't give a fuck, then it's a sign that you have options, but when people sense desperation, they feel like you don't think you are worth what you are going for.

## How to Deal With It

I've been ghosted plenty of times. Does it hurt? It used to, but now I realize when someone ghosts you, it says more about that individual than you.

When someone ghosts you, realize that maybe they saw something you didn't. Maybe the relationship was doomed to fail and your rose tinted glasses kept you from seeing the truth. Also, when someone ghosts you without a reason why: who the hell wants to be with a person like that? No communication is a type of communication and they are communicating to you that they don't think you're worth an explanation.

It hurts, but it's easy to move on once you realize there's plenty of people to see! People who actually want to talk to you. If you see differently, it may be a sign your self-esteem is low and needs improvement, which is normal in a society like the modern west.

Every time I was ghosted or broken up with by a girl, I always found a better one, sometimes in the next week. And it's not just because I'm special, there's millions of people out there to try new things with. All you have to do is try and know you're worth it.

## What to do when someone ghosts you

The nice thing is when someone ghosts you, they did all the work for you. You don't have to do anything else.

They stopped communication, and so do you. No checkup texts necessary. Don't worry, this person didn't die in a car crash, they're merely telling you "I have higher value than you". Mirror the emotions and actions of them and things will work out naturally. You don't have to respond when they finally do reach out, but if you do, there's no point in showing bitterness.

It's funny, when a person realizes they can lose you and that you don't need them to exist, they start acting differently, in ways that don't jeopardize losing you. If they don't, then they weren't worth it anyways.

I've learned not to respond to ghosts, but it's okay to do so. Maybe they will come around, but usually not.

I don't believe in ghosts so when someone becomes one, they cease to exist as well.


Why You Keep Getting Ghosted


The thought of someone being smarter than ourselves is unbearable. Clearly we're the smartest person we've ever met. Other people can be more talented than us or more handsome(for women, the thought that another female could be prettier than them is also painful), but not smarter.

And yet there are people out there who are a lot dumber and uglier than you that have all that you want. They have the money, the mortgage, the attractive spouse, the kids, the car. Don't think about it too much or you might throw up.

So how did we get here? How could God be so cruel to allow a clearly undeserving individual to have so much?

That ugly, dumb person thinks they deserve it.

They saw the cute girl and asked her out, not thinking about how much out of her league they were. They noticed a new position open up at their job and applied for it, not disqualifying themselves beforehand because they thought they were unqualified. They don't think about things too much. They go after them.

If you want to be treated like a king, act like one. If you want something, you have to reach out and grab it. It couldn't be more simpler than that.

There's nothing worse than overthinking everything and not allowing yourself to experience or have good things. If you think that you are worthy of love, you will get it. If you believe you are capable of the job, you will get it. It may take work and sacrifices, but everything becomes attainable.

The worst thing that can happen if you go for these things is you get what you want, or you don't. You had nothing before, so why would that matter?

I've met doctors and engineers before that were clearly only smart in their field and dumb in life. I've met smart people who are total losers and live in poverty. The biggest difference in these people isn't their percieved talent or life circumstances, but how they perceive their value. Both are capable of great things, but one chooses the life of a winner and the other chooses the life of a loser.

It's hard to tell how intelligent people of ancient history were, but it's safe to say you have a lot more knowledge than they did. The only difference between you and Napoleon is he thought he deserved to be recognized as a brilliant war strategist.


People Dumber and Uglier Than You Have The Life You Want


I used to think compromising meant being the better person and making the world a friendlier place to live. How could such a selfless act not be an exemplar of benevolence? But giving in was ruining my life; trying to make other’s happy all the time was draining my energy; being the one to save face was degrading my value as a person.

We compromise not because we believe it’s the right thing to do, but because it’s easy. It takes little effort to pay full price while bargaining requires some doing. We believe we’re compromising, but we aren’t getting anything in return. A compromise is when you give something to get something, if you aren’t rewarded for your troubles then you have merely lost the negotiation.

I will compromise if the outcome is a better deal, but I refuse to be anyone’s Chamberlain, and I’ve never been happier in my life.

## Life Is Not A Compromise

People on their deathbed rarely remain wistful of all the times they didn’t appease others. It is in their final moments that they reconcile with the idea that life is final. This is not rehearsal for how things are going to be, but rather this is the final act. We have finite time and energy to spend on activities in life. If we spend these resources on others and tasks we don’t want to do, we are wasting it.

I’ve come to realize that what makes others happy is merely a bonus. If other people are happy from my doing, it’s supplemental to the consequence of achieving what I set out to do— be it start my own business or writing an article like this one. I live for myself and focus on what fulfills my ideal of life, and it’s a healthy person that is able to see that other people can have their own expectations from us and the world, but that we don’t have to meet them.

## Happiness Comes In Different Forms

I used to think it made me happy to make others happy, but that’s not quite true. Yes, seeing others happy brings me some elation, but if I had to give up something to get there— be it time or money, the act is deluded.

The only person I know how to make happy is myself. I love creating, communicating my ideas to others, and experiencing the microcosms of life. Other’s happiness from these ideals is not a goal but a side effect.

I used to be quite a naive person who would try to see the good in other people, even if they appeared to lack a modicum of it. I’m sure there is good in others, but even seemingly good people can misuse your good nature to get what they want. Though I’m not bitter about this deceit; I’m actually grateful. People who have taken me for a ride have opened my eyes to what I really want to do with my life.

No one can make you happy but yourself, and this goes for others as well.

No longer do you need to focus on the happiness of your parents, your partner, or strangers. If they truly cared, they would be happy that you were happy. Happiness is not a goal, but an emotion that comes from achieving something, no matter how small.

Happiness is fleeting and fickle, but it’s all over the place. You can make someone’s day just by wearing a conspicuous pair of shoes. Happiness is simple when applied to the emotion that comes from something small, but complex and obtuse when the source of it comes from life goals and ideals.

If we only worry about the happiness of others, then there is little time to worry about the happiness we can control, our own.


I Don't Exist to Make Others Happy


---

title: 'Why You Keep Getting Ghosted'
date: '2023-06-21'
author: 'Trever Parish'
image: why-you-keep-getting-ghosted.webp
excerpt: Let ghosts haunt nothing
link: https://unsplash.com/photos/JA-SFjT1FS0
linkAuthor: Photo Unsplash Link

## isFeatured: true

Upon seeing the redesigned MacBook for 2021, I knew Apple had finally created something we all wanted. Not only were the machines more powerful than ever, but the reincorporation of the missing ports and the removal of the dreaded Touch Bar made the machine truly suitable for pros.

My 2015 15” MacBook Pro was showing its age, and being that I needed a beefy machine for my work, an upgrade made sense for the first time in years. It seemed the kinks of the last generation were finally worked out by simply going back to the basics, and using the the philosophy of the old hardware — simple but powerful.
The Price

These silicone queens are not cheap, with even the 14” base model coming in at $2000, while the higher-end models can equate to a used car. The base models were tempting and looked like a great way to get into a new computer, but future proofing with the higher-end CPU, GPU, and RAM would mean I could use the computer for years to come.
The Specs

I wanted the best features to ensure the MacBook would be usable and able to keep up with whatever I threw at it. Yes, it’s terribly expensive, but if you make money from it and you want the premium experience, it may be worth it.

As for why I went with the 14”, I wanted something portable I could take to a coffee shop and other remote places without lugging around that behemoth 16". A laptop should be compact and light. It is a joy to sit on the couch with this thing and work while nonsense plays on the TV.

I wanted the best and this meant I was getting the M1 Max with a 10-core CPU, 32-core GPU, and a 16-core neural engine(whatever the hell that is). For the RAM I followed my lead and got the 64 GB version. I was still unsure on what size hard drive to get and I still had to wait to get it. I hate waiting, but I did not want to compromise specs for brevity’s sake.

## The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

These machines are not always readily available and can take up to 2 months to receive; this was an issue for me as I kind of needed one soon and didn’t want to wait long for it. Playing around with the different specs on the website I was able to find a maxed out MacBook with a 2 TB hard drive that was available for pick up the next day from my local store. I lucked out big time. I purchased the machine that night and picked it up after work the next day.

I’m not someone who ever wants to be in an Apple store, but the experience was actually quite pleasant. I looked at the new Pro Display and chatted with the employee about what we use these machines for. Walking out of the story with the new MacBook was a decent feeling. Since I was a kid I have always loved getting a new piece of tech. A new video game or hardware would enchant me for days, and this new acquisition remind me of my salad days.

## The Setup

I had a blast setting it up for the first time and creating my work environment. I loved the keyboard and the overall aesthetic of the machine right out of the box. The square edges look industrious and elegant and due to the compact nature of the 14”, it sits in the lap like a shaking chihuahua. Any hesitation I had about spending this much on a computer had subsided.
Some Laptops Are Bigger Than Others

I want something that feels like it can take a beating. Ironically I baby my computers to no end, but I like this quality. The new MacBooks feel much more solid than the previous generation. They are obviously very reminiscent of my trusty 2015 MacBook, of which I love the design of. The generation before was too sleek and slender, they looked great but something about the new MacBooks speaks to me. The square design is retro in spirit but feels more premium; something that will last longer. Apple seemed to have taken function over form, something that has been seen as the antithesis of their existence, but it was the right choice.

It fits so well in my backpack that taking it places is easy and I don’t feel like I’m lugging around a secret military project. Being apple to sit on my balcony while I work is great and coffee shops are more enjoyable as well. Some folks say you should get the 16” as it is the true “pro” option, and there are some added features, but I don’t miss having a bigger laptop at all. Yes, you are sacrificing performance, but at the cost of a lighter machine with incredible ergonomics. I’ve typed just about this entire article on while lounging around the apartment and it was an enjoyable experiment.

## The Keyboard

I am a mechanical keyboard fan that has been slightly reformed by the beauty that is the Logitech MX mini keys, but taller keys with a defining click are what I’d get if I had my druthers. The keyboard on these Macs are fantastic.

I love the contrast between the black keyboard and the silver chassis. One YouTuber tech guy said the keyboard felt mechanical, which I see as some sort of psyop. Yes the keyboard is clicky with a fantastic feel, but definitely not comparable to a mechanical keyboard. That being said I love typing on it. The layout feels perfect on such a small laptop. The keys themselves feel concave and smooth. The black inset for the back of the keyboard is simply one of the best aesthetic ideas they have ever done.

## Final Word

I have no regrets about buying this machine at such ridiculous specs, and I have already started using it for business, but it’s not the route for everyone.
If you don’t make a living by using a computer and simply need one for basic needs, the MacBook Air may be the better options. It has enough to get the job done while not getting one red in the ol’ bank account. I knew that I was going to need the higher end specs so the Pro was the logical choice for me because I wanted the “best” thing. The base model m1 MacBooks are also incredibly fast. However, I do not recommend the 13” MacBook Apple has in their store. The specs are pretty weak and you may be better off going for the base model 2021 MacBook. Getting a used or refurbished one is also an option if you need Intel architecture, but there’s something fantastic about getting a new machine that made the price worth it in my mind. I will also add that Apple has started adding refurbished 2021 MacBooks to the store, adding an option for those that want a machine at a better price and reduced waiting time.

To end this article off I will talk about the dreaded notch: I downloaded an app called TopNotch and now I don’t see it at all. Some people are bothered by the notch but I can’t say it changes my opinion on the machine at all.


Why I Chose the 14” MacBook Pro M1 Max (and Don’t Recommend It)


With the advent of social media it has never been easier to see the atrocities of the world, and not purely of war or greed, but of human nature as a whole. It is this instant access to these upsetting imageries that leads to anxiety and other ailments that plague our modern society. We can not only look and see what the world is up to, but also our friends and colleagues. In a para-social environment like social media, witnessing random people on the internet living extraordinary lives can send us spiraling into depression and have us questioning ourselves: “Why isn’t my life exciting like that?” Luckily these instances are a facade that veils the psychological tricks of social media, where dirty tactics are used to keep you addicted to checking the app, comparing yourself to others, and ultimately feeling negatively towards your “imperfect life.”

What you see on Instagram or Twitter is not the real world, but a cleverly manipulated snapshot in time created in the hopes to beguile people into believing what they are seeing is reality. The photo of war battered children is not from this morning but six months ago from an unrelated war; The photo of a seemingly jubilant person on a trip to the Bahamas is secretly and silently suffering from depression and uses trips as a way to cope with their afflictions; The conservative politician who preaches traditional values but cheats on their wife. These contradictions are as old as time, but they show that people may live a life that differs from what they let on. Social media is the perfect tool for this beguilement as it allows individuals to curate what others see about their life.

## The Experiment

One day I decided that I wouldn’t use twitter or instagram for as long as I reasonably could. I realized it was a distraction that served no purpose but to waste my valuable and finite time and to line the pockets of big corporations by the consumption of ads and other psychically draining mediums. I deleted the apps from my phone and reassured myself that I wasn’t missing out on anything, which ironically is what most of us fear when not on social media. We believe that we are missing out on the world and our friends when not checking social media and thus need to reassure ourselves by giving into the feeling and loading the app. It’s a funny little paradox that is despairing to think about.

## The First Day

They say the first day—- the first step, is the hardest. You either feel overconfident that you will succeed in your objective, or crippled by the challenges of something new. However the first day was rather easy. I worked my job, attended to side-projects, read books, and simply relaxed. My mentality at the time came from these questions I asked myself: “What was I missing out on by not using social media?” and “I have been using these programs for all these years and what do I have to show for it?” I am not someone who makes money off using the likes of Twitter and Instagram. I write articles like this one, work on websites, and produce music. Can these things benefit from promotion on social media? Sure, but I don’t need anyones permission to do them and can accomplish what I need to all on my own. Social media can be a useful tool, but this is a small portion of its use. Its true intention is to get you addicted to the product so that you consume it more and more. Not only are you bombarded with ads, but a slice of the beautiful lives of others and the remindement of how you don’t shape up. It goads you into wanting more of that bad feeling invoked by comparing yourself to the fake world that is social media.

Perhaps its western society, but when we see people with more than us our natural instinct is to ask ourselves “why?” and “how do we get that thing the other person has?” It keeps the cycle going and our spending habits coincide to hopefully one day reach the success we see in the world. These habits can get in the way of real life—- the thing you are living now. Comparing yourself to what you see on instagram is tantamount to sizing up your life to a character in a movie; if the characters in movies were as boring as the people in normal life, no one would watch films.

## The Proceeding Weeks

After about a week, any intentions I had of checking social media waned. I felt like I was not interested in what it had to offer and I was no longer under its malicious spell. I lived my life as normal, but without the constant distraction and intrusive thoughts of “What am I missing out on?” I realized social media was not a party I was not attending, but an anxiety inducing carnival where the ruffians of the lot are going around nicking pockets and stabbing stomachs. It is not fun to use social media, but rather exhilarating in a toxic way as you see what’s going on out in the “real world” where everyone is happy but you. There are times where I feel a tinge of anxiety before opening the app. Just as a gambler loves the thrill of a win, we love the idea of looking at social media and finding something interesting or a message from someone we haven’t heard from in awhile. Every time we reload the feed we are spinning the wheel and hoping for a reward, but just as the house always wins, the corporation behind the app is banking off your psychology and ranking in the blood money from your addiction.

The truth is, everyone is living a life just as boring as yours. When someone is in the routine of traveling constantly and always looking for the next best thing, there may be an underlining feeling that they lack something in their life and are attempting fill it. Trips are great and going out on the town can be exciting, but these should only be small pieces of your life, not imperative parts. If you can’t be happy in this very moment, how would going somewhere else make you happy other than in that fleeting juncture? That is the danger of social media: it makes us believe that life is about being excited and showing off to the world how wonderful our roving lifestyle is.

We are all aware of the post-vacation blues where upon returning home we yearn again for the excitement we felt in that new place, away from the pressures of work, family, and other social obligations we feel necessary to attend to. Social media is that feeling but you haven’t even gone on that trip, but seeing other people experiencing what you want triggers that negative feeling. Some people live their entire lives believing consuming social media everyday is a sane way to live, but this mentality is flawed and dangerous. Our life’s duty is not to consume, but to create, and it’s hard to do the latter when you’re accustomed to only doing the former.

I found myself enjoying the small things more while on my social media detox. I felt more “in the moment” and used my phone less— the only way I would check social media. I went on more walks, had more time to be productive, and had better social interactions with the people in my life. This was life before social media. Normality. I felt no urgency or rush to “get things over with,” but rather enjoying every moment that came to me.

I am no longer an overly anxious person, but checking social media has always been a way to get my heart beating. As silly as it sounds, I feel like one day I will check instagram and see some either horrific or incredible thing. My time away from it all has made me realize that the likes of Twitter and Instagram are boring. They offer real no source of entertainment other than seeing how truly absurd its foundation is. These products offer nothing but a distraction from our reality, which is probably why they are so successful. I’m not a Tik-Tok user but I know of some people in my life who have spent the entire day in bed watching them. It is escapism at its most dire form.

After sometime had passed, I wanted to see my thought experiment to its end.

## The Final Day

It was my day off from my day job but I still had work to do. I like to start the day off by reading and listening to music while sipping on some coffee. I try to limit the amount of conflicting information I take in while my brain is in its optimal state of retention. News and social media are some of the worst things to start the morning off with as the information overloads our brains with junk that serves no purpose to our life but to get an emotional reaction from us. Start the morning off with some light reading, a gentle workout, and a little caffeine, and you will see a change in your life, guaranteed.

The tangent above is the main reason I decided to abstain from social media for so long: it was not improving, but holding me back from being a productive person. When I was younger I over-used social media, and during the pandemic it became my own little source of panic and obsessive checking. I felt remote from those activities and feelings now. I have realized I don’t need social media at all, but rather it’s a nice little distraction once in awhile.

At about noon I realized it’s been approximately 3 months since my last view of Twitter and Instagram. I figured my little experiment had run its course and it was time to see what I missed. I downloaded the apps once again and logged in.

My brain was overloaded with information, pictures, and ads. I didn’t even really want to look at, it felt too overstimulating and unnatural. When we spend some time away from something we realize how it truly made us feel when we return to it, and I can’t say I thought I was missing out on anything at the moment. I persevered and checked what my friends had done or posted and their stories for the day. No knock on my friends and the people I follow, they’re a great lot and all live fulfilling lives, but I can’t say I missed much. No fun events worth posting about, no big life changes, or anything that caught me off guard. Social media is not real life, but rather a microcosm of what others want us to see, and I wasn’t seeing much. I didn’t miss out on much because nothing is actually “happening” on sites like Twitter and Instagram. “Life is constant change” is one of my favorite Marcus Aurelius quotes, but the constant change oscillates between the usual things. Someone traveling to Japan sounds like a fantastic trip, a trip worth posting about, but it has no real bearing on our life; we can also take a trip, it’s not necessarily an unachievable goal. Comparing yourself to others is not a good proxy value for how great your life is going. We all have feelings of inadequacy and doubts, why inflate them more with social media?

I received messages from people asking where I was or a meme they sent me, but there were no dire questions to be answered or emergencies in need of attending. The people that need to contact me have my number and can ask me for help or simply chat with me at any time. I’m a bad texter but I will always get around to it if it’s important. Which shows that communication is not social media’s main use, because if it was people would be using it to get through to me. Instead, the people that truly mattered to me had other, more efficient ways of contacting me.

Perhaps its my fault for thinking my experiment would yield any telling results, but it merely confirmed what I thought all along: social media is addictive and serves as a fun distraction, but offers no value. I haven’t made a cent by using Twitter and Instagram: why would I spend anything more than 5 minutes a day using them?

Your mileage may very and perhaps you make boat loads off selling a product on instagram. If that is the case, then using social media makes plenty of sense. For us that do not see Instagram as a lucrative endeavor, it’s time we reevaluate why we use it.

## After the Flood

3 days had passed since I used social media for the first time in awhile. I had work to do at my job and books to finish so using a little game like Twitter wasn’t on my list of things to do before I die. I have decided to take another break from using social media as I am much happier when I’m not using said apps.

It’s easy to reassure yourself with ideas like “I don’t want to use social media, but I guess it doesn’t hurt to look at it right now.” Show yourself real restraint by abstaining from it for a couple of days and reassuring yourself of the things you’re _NOT_ missing.

## My Tips On How to Use Social Media Safely

Here’s what I’ve done to avoid the pitfalls of social media, something most of us feel like we have to use for some reason.

### Don’t wake up and immediately check your feed

The beginning of your day should be calm. You’re getting ready for work or enjoying your day off— why would you want to introduce more unnecessary information into your day? Instead set a time or even a day where you’re allowed to check the news or social media. Preferably after lunch time. In the morning your brain is in an optimal state for taking in information so it’s imperative that you do not feed it with junk and unnecessary information. People have told me they have seen something on social media that made them so mad that it ruined their day. Why let something mess up your day when there is no reward?

### Decide on a period where you don’t use it at all

Dopamine detoxes are all the rage these days with self-help gurus and pseudo-scientists, but there is some truth to the phenomenon. Your brain is not designed to constantly feel good and to be stimulated. Have you noticed that when you’re in love with someone the first few months are ecstasy until the feelings seem to wear off? Attraction, just like feeling good, are not sustainable and must be in juxtaposition to indifference and boredom. It’s good to be bored, it makes you realize that there are things you want to achieve in life, which you can’t do if you are in the habit of only doing “fun” things. Instead of getting bored and using social media to dulcify the feelings, give into it and do something like read a book, write, or go for a walk; embrace the boredom.

### Realize That Social Media is a Snapshot in Time

We let people see what we want them to see and hide our true feelings when perhaps we shouldn’t, and social media is a magnification of this. Some seem to overshare on social media while other share nothing. Just as you may only post when something good or life changing happens, so do other people. Most people do not post about how they just got off work or cleaned the dishes; we want people to think we are living the optimal life, full of adventure and plunder.

## The Final Goodbye

I am weirdly proud of myself that I was able to last 3 months of not using social media. It sounds silly, but in comparison to people who use it every day and maybe even every hour, the time spent away from it all was a fantastic break. I will continue to occasionally use social media, but no where close to the capacity I was accustomed to. Most likely I will post to my instagram account once this article is published but I don’t think I will check my feed. If I want to know what someone is up to, I will shoot them a text. My life is enjoyable as it is, I don’t need external things or other people to continue down this road of enjoying life.

I think back to all of those hours I wasted on social media and I can’t help but feel like I squandered time on something that proved no reward. At least with video games and movies you are experiencing a piece of art that is on some level mentally stimulating; Twitter is not art but rather a soulless product that has objectively made the world a worse place to live.

Now that my little experiment is over and this article is at its end, it’s time I get back to the “boring” life, of which I wouldn’t have any other way.


I Didn’t Use Twitter or Instagram for 3 Months, Here’s What (Didn’t) Happen


A common aphorism expressed in times of turmoil is “life is too short.” Could there be a more potent truism? In the grand scheme of things, we inhabit a small iota of the universe and it is unlikely any of us will impact the future world in any capacity. At the time of writing this article, I am 10 days shy of being 27 years old, still quite the provincial young man, and with Mother Earth being an estimated 4.54 billion years old, my cumulative existent is but a blimp on the map of time.

Armed with this information, why would we spend any moment of our lives doing something we don’t wish to do? A life attempting to impress others is unfulfilling and shallow. Maybe you’re a parent or have a spouse you must provide for and can’t sacrifice the opportunities that provide for said familial units, but this is a choice in its own. For the rest of us living a bare existence, it is our duty to find fulfillment and purpose within the confines of time we are given. If you knew life was going to end in 1 year, how would we change our current trajectory? The truth is, we may not even have that amount of time allotted to us. Time is irrevocable and constantly fleeting. If we do not manage how we spend it, we will end up living a life we do not see as ideal and go to the grave wishing we didn’t waste our gift of existence.

This is the key to being selfish and acting in your own best interest. You have a finite amount of time and energy to expend in life, and spending these valuable resources on things you do not value is wasting them. We all must learn to stop giving into the demands of the world as if they are required. There is no life contract that we signed at birth with a clause stating we must be kind, let others waste our time, or lead a boring existence. We are the proprietors of our own lives and we have the choice to live a fulfilling life, or a life of fulfilling others.

This does not mean we become anti-social individuals who hurt others and deceive them in order to get ahead and safeguard or time gratuitously. That would only create enemies and raise resentment from people, of whom we must exist with, but rather we learn to stop giving our time away to things we do not find worthy of it. Learning to say no is a powerful skill to possess.

A friend invites you to a party but you want to work on your business (or hell, get drunk and play video games until 2 am). Politely decline and say you can’t wait to see them some other time. Your boss asks you to stay an extra two hours but you really just want to go home and watch Netflix. Be honest (or politely lie) to them that you are unable to due to obligations after work. No amount of scorn is needed within being selfish. We are not acting in self interest to harm others, but to enhance our own lives. These people may even appreciate your honesty and see you as a scarce item that they have limited access to; when you don’t give out your presence for free, you increase its worth. Where is the value in someone you can see and talk to at all hours of the day?

In Western society, we value a phenomenon known as “grind culture.” A virtue signaling way of showing that you work harder than others and are mentally and physically spent. It seems rather clever and prestigious to boast about the long hours you put in at work, but the cost is tantamount to defeat. You will never get anywhere in life renting out your time and never allowing periods of recharge and doing what you actually want to do. Maybe this is necessary in situations of working for yourself, but look at the lives of Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk to see the results of putting work beyond anything else. These guys are diabolically smart and absurdly rich, but they can’t keep a woman in their lives and if we’re being frank, don’t seem too happy. We have to learn to balance our work life with our real life, as the two simply cannot coexist at all times. If you believe that spending long hours on the grind is how you want to spend your time, then the choice is quite easy to make.

There is a quote attributed to John Lennon — I question its true origin but it is simply too good to ignore: “Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.” I feel like this sums up how time should be spent. Where I consider reading as one of the most enjoyable activities, others see me as wasting time looking into white pages. Where I see video games as largely unproductive time wasters, others see as a way to unwind, or even a passion. What others value is not a proxy to reference against your own value of time; we must spend time how we wish lest we want others spend it for us. A great way of prioritizing how to manage your time is to figure out the biggest time wasting activities that you simply can’t wait to trim and work back to the thing that you believe worthy of your time and that you want to do as much as possible.

The harsh truth is all of us must spend time doing things we dislike, work a job we can’t stand, or converse with folks we wish lived on another planet. This does not mean we give into these societal pressures and let them eat up our precious time, but that we scheme of ways we can cut out the excess and dodge the influence of others and their control of our time. Work that job you hate until you find one you can’t stay away from; get so good at conversing with others that you know exactly how to make a clean break and exit; after spending time on necessary but grueling activities, reward yourself by getting back to that thing you love.

Time is not something that should be wasted and being selfish with it is the only logical course of action to ensure it remains yours.


How To Be Selfish With Your Time, Without Being An Asshole


The world is not a kind place. One must only turn on the news or look through a twitter feed to see not only the indifference of nature, but the indifference we have the capacity to have for each other.

Never has there been a better time to see the injustices of the world so clearly in plain view. We can type in a three letter domain, click on the “Most Wanted” tab and see the faces of individuals who have committed unforgivable crimes and are essentially free to do it again until caught. Instead of kindness in our world being seen as a strength, it is seen as a weakness, and thus individuals are punished instead of rewarded for their good nature. However none of these examples are a reason to do nothing or to be miserable, and this cynicism is often used to mask insecurities and offer a comforting reassurance that an individual’s ideology is the correct one.

It is easy to observe pessimist in the wild because they are found in large groups where they can all confirm their own ideas about how miserable the world is. “The world is a bad place and people are awful, so why try?” is the axiom of the curmudgeon.

I will be the first to admit, I myself do not find the world to be an innately good place, nor do I think we should trust people blindly, and there are certain things we should be pessimistic and negative about. However, allowing these values to poison a good life is a tragedy. The world does not need to be perfect for us to live a meaningful and exciting life. We have to ask ourselves if pessimism is worth the misery of living an uninspiring life where we avoid hardship and difficult things because of the discomfort they cause. To succeed in life, one must get used to being uncomfortable, and pessimist hate discomfort, preferring the warm nook of avoiding anything that causes the sort. If you are a functioning pessimist that sees the world through negative lenses but still accomplishes incredible things, then perhaps you have found a secret that many of us wish to learn. Negativity can cloud one’s mind and warp their view of the world. That is why positivity is so important in an unkind world.

Negative people often take their position because it is a form of virtue signaling, in turn raising their social status by taking such a serious view of life- something we see as an intelligent position. We see this seriousness everywhere: The stoic scientist claims climate change is irreversible; The authoritative politician states that war is imminent; The domineering boss says we’re getting terminated and there’s nothing we can do about it. We see this seriousness and can’t help but compare it to our parents or teachers that also told us of the consequences of life. In a Machiavellian sort of way, an outward seriousness can be advantageous, but an inward seriousness can spell disaster and wreck potential. Robert Greene’s 38th Law from The 48 Laws of Power: Think as You Like but Behave Like Others, applies here. Don’t be pessimistic for the sake of it; negativity and cynicism should be used purposefully to avoid unnecessary things and spending useless effort.

We all must deal with people to be successful. No, not everyone is a paragon of goodness, but we must have a degree of trust in business and interpersonal relationships to succeed, pessimism kills these bonds outright. It is impossible and foolish to trust everyone, and judgement is an important skill to learn, but a form of trust must be created.

Life is an equation of balancing the good with the bad. The world does not have to be unequivocally good for you to enjoy it.


Pessimism Is Often Just An Excuse To Be Lazy


Success and achievement serve as proxies that we use to guide us in what we choose to pursue in life. We are conditioned at a young age that we must relentlessly aspire to be something and to accomplish a goal. After all, if we do not put everything that we got into acquiring what we want: how will we get it? This logic is flawed, however, as desiring something is like chasing a cat: it runs away from you. Just because we want something and put a large amount of effort into attaining it, does not guarantee success. Desire and honest work are on the opposite sides of the spectrum. This elusiveness is frustrating and leads to unnecessary suffering, so how do we avoid it?

Desire is a natural human tendency. We want the new promising job, the exciting new partner, or the latest fickle automobile. In itself, there is nothing wrong with desire; we want something and thus we pursue it in what can be a rewarding journey. Where desire becomes detrimental to our lives is when it makes us dissatisfied and caught up in a cycle of chasing something that never seems to materialize. It is only when we step back from this object of desire and see it for what it is- simply another thing or goal- that we are able to get it, or lose interest in it entirely. It is an idea that Robert Ringer puts in his book Winning Through Intimidation as the “Boy-Girl-Theory”, which states: Everyone wants what they can’t have, and does not want what they can have. In a sick twist of fate, wanting something makes it harder to obtain, as if we are putting some sort of physical or mental barrier between it and ourselves. Just as there is a difference between lust and love, there lies a difference between desire and healthy pursuit. When we desire something it is as if we feel unworthy of obtaining the object of want, and thus we fruitlessly try everything in the book to own it. Then there is the healthy pursuit: there is an object of want but we sense the road to this reward is full of twists and will require planning and dedication. Where the difference matters between the two is that when we are willing to put in the work, the lust for the goal turns into love. In juxtaposition, desire is the get-rich-quick scheme and healthy pursuit is the college degree, apprenticeship, or self-teaching that lands us the job we wanted and willingly put in the required work.

We see in cases of unrequited love the insidious nature of desire. We’ve all witnessed the following scenario: one person loves the other more than they are loved back, thus creating this dynamic of “not wanting what we can have” alluded to earlier. When we find ourselves in this situation, it is best to pump the brakes on the relationship and to examine it from the outside. This is where we ask ourselves: “Am I putting more into this than they are?” We soon find out that once we create distance between ourselves and this other person, they begin to realize maybe we won’t always be around in their lives like they previously thought- turning the tables on desire’s clutches. The texts stop coming and the responsiveness lessens; we no longer become something they can have and this increases their desire for us. The same thing occurs with other objects of desire; we stop wanting the job and suddenly we are called in for an interview; we stop wanting the new car and suddenly a great deal on a better one shows up on happenstance. Just as what is common is of little value, what we already own or can own loses its value. If we never have to work to earn our money, our perceived value of it would be close to nothing when compared to the money(of same value) that we worked for.
Desire warps our perception of the thing we can’t have or are yet to have, making it appear more important and valuable than it really is. Once we get what we want, the spell is over and we no longer see these qualities and the search for a new thing to chase begins. To end the cycle, we must come to terms with the idea that there is always the “bigger better deal” in the world and that we can’t always get what we want. It is better to limit our desires than attempting to satiate their every need.

Desire in itself is not a bad thing. We should want something better for ourselves and to achieve great things, but when this desire creates unneeded suffering and struggle, it is time that we see it as something that is not helping, but harming our vision of a good life. This does not mean we avoid the hard work necessary to gain a skill and stop putting in the effort where needed, but that we stop becoming outcome dependent. When we come to the realization that we are only in control of your own action, and not in the unfolding events of the outside world, the luster of desire simply becomes another detail of life that may or may not be worth pursuit. After we drop the desire to want anything, getting what you want and not having it become one in the same.


How Desire Gets In The Way of What We Want


The history behind this quote is quite convoluted and humorous, but beyond its absurd astuteness, is a meaning that transcends us all.

You may have noticed a voice inside your head, it seems to give commentary on everything you do and what’s going on around you. One can observe it stating things like “I don’t like how that dress looks on her” or “He must hate me, he hasn’t messaged me back, it’s been a 2 weeks, he must have found someone else! What am I going to do?” This voice can be incredibly negative or overly optimistic. I have personally observed this voice for almost an hour while at a party, unaware that it had taken my attention like an entrancing TV show. If you let it, it will talk your ear off about the outside world. Sometimes it will even bring you down; when we hear this voice it says “You are a loser” and yet we interpret it as “I am a loser.” It is as if this voice is us in some way. So is it?

This voice in your head is not you. This voice is a byproduct of evolution. As humans we have the unique ability to think ahead and ruminate on both past and future. This is called _chronesthesia_ and it can be your best friend, or your own punitive prison. That voice we talked about, it is chronesthesia in action. “What should I wear tomorrow? Last time I wore that shirt and those pants and someone made fun of me.” You can see how this kind of thing can be useful in war stratagems, while working on a project, or planning an event, but terrible for relationships and personal problems. It can be quite negative, although it can be positive- sometimes overly so. There is another part to this level of consciousness, and that is _autonoesis_, which is you, the being observing that voice in your head. This proves that you may not be that voice in your head, but merely the entity experiencing it.

The first time I stumbled upon this information, I was shocked, yet it made so much sense in juxtapostion to how events played out in my head. I knew about this voice in my head but I thought it was me, telling me what to do. It is a freeing thing when you realize that you are not your emotions, nor your thoughts. You are just the being that gets to experience and observe them. Back to this idea that you take yourself wherever you go, if you never learn to not listen to this voice at all times, you will essentially be stalked by a very unsavory person. The one person you can never get away from is yourself. Go ahead, try getting a restraining order on yourself!

People often tell me how they love traveling and feel free and happy whilst doing so. I think that is wonderful, however they follow it up with how it quells their depression, they are only happy when away from home etc. This sounds like a pretty bad place to be in. If the inside of you is in total turmoil and the only ease is escaping into the outside- how can you ever be truly happy? The goal should be that no matter what happens outside- events, people’s actions, that you are not mentally disturbed, but always in a place of equanimity. Depression and unhappiness are a spiritual problem that cannot be fixed by outside forces. This is why becoming your own safe haven and your own friend is the stepping stone to true and lasting happiness.

If you were the ruler of a kingdom experiencing tumultuous times, you would find it illogical to escape this kingdom and hope it straightens itself naturally without the place becoming a rioting mess of destruction and pyres, so why would you try to escape yourself expecting the same thing? When you experience personal problems it means you must tend to and examine what is causing this dissonance, not hope it goes away on its own, as it never does. We are all our own rulers of our own corporeal kingdom, and a good leader faces the problems of the nation they lead head-on.


You Can Never Escape Yourself, So You Might As Well Be In Good Company


**Note:** in this article I will be using the term “nice guy” colloquially to refer to both men and women, to say in general that people do not care for a nice guy(or girl).

Winston Churchill, Neville Chamberlain: two English prime ministers. One is seen as being willful, relentless, uncompromising, a sneering imperialist, and a remarkable man that we should all aspire to be. The other, you never hear about. In fact, if you hear about him it’s likely because his namesake is often used to describe someone who gives in to other’s demands. For those unaware, Chamberlain was the prime minister before Churchill’s second term, he signed the Munich Agreement and was lampooned as being an appeaser who gave into Hitler’s demands. His legacy has forever been stained by this characteristic. We don’t seem to remember nice guys and in fact, loathe their actions.

Why don’t we hear about the giver, the compromiser, or the appeaser? Is it not more noble to give than receive? Should we not admire a person who is flexible and willing to relinquish control for the common good? The same reason “he has no back bone” isn’t a compliment. Our movies feature the same characters, the same motifs, and the same arcs. The tough fighting cowboy who shoots before the other guy has time to draw from his holster, the super hero who knows she must destroy half of New York to stop the mustachioed villian, the moody teenager who doesn’t fit in and must stand up to the bullies and her hindering parents to get the last laugh at the end. We want to see people who overcome the obstacles life throws their way, just as we wish ourselves to triumph over them. Ruthlessness, to a point, is alluring and strong. The business woman knows she must compromise a little here and there, but will never fully acquiesce and is okay with fighting to get what she wants or needs. Giving in, allowing people to walk all over you is seen as weak because there is nothing being outwitted, beguiled, cajoled, or wiled. We all secretly love the huckster who grew up poor as sin and had to get by in the big city conning rich folk out of their money, and we not only love when David stands up to Goliath, but also cuts off his head. Rooting for the underdog is everyone’s favorite pass time, and you can’t be an underdog unless you’re willing to stand up to adversity, something nice guys can’t do. Nice guys seem to be afraid of adversity, something we all must go against to accomplish meaningful things in life.

“But he’s such a nice guy!”

“She’s really sweet”

All seem swell but girls love a bad boy! Someone roguish and untamed like a wild mustang. He’s a dreamer, a rebel, or maybe a fighter. His emotions- does he have any? He’s a loose cannon and a project someone has the pleasure of trying to fix. Men generally love a girl who exudes independence and strong-will, she can be bossy and manipulative, but in a fun way. She’s loud and has a personality that makes us want to orbit around here. You wouldn’t want a partner that had to be hung around your waist all the time or was an emotional burden, the same goes for people we admire. Not being nice all the time shows independence, self-governance, and fortitude. They have the choice and the autonomy to act in their own accordance. A person should know when to be nice and when to become forceful. The same way we detest when someone likes us too much; they seem too needy; they have no personality of their own and thus they cling to us. Men chase after women who don’t seem to know or care they exist; women sometimes pursue men who are complete rakes who are emotionally unavailable or abusive. We want what we can’t have, and no one chases after nice guys because the chase ends as soon as it starts. It’s too easy to be nice, not in a benevolent, altruistic way, but a “I avoid conflict” way. The ideal person most of us admire is not a Chamberlain, but a Churchill. To be ambitious one must also have a sharp edge to them, the willingness to go up against seemingly impossible odds and maybe step on some toes. Dedication and hard work are all seen as the noblest of attributes, the nice guy rarely has these, and in its place, the reflex to bend to the wills of others.

Above all else, nice guys are boring. They go with the flow, not in a taoist way, but a “I’m fine with life passing me by” way. There is no enchantment of “What will she create next?” or “He gets the job done!” Instead we see a person who cares too much about what others think, they want people to like them, and paradoxically being nice is a good way for people to be indifferent towards you at best. Earnestly I wish I could say that being nice, that is being in a perpetual state of nicety, was a trait that we should all admire, and we do find being a kind soul a noble feat. Though the archetypical nice guy is not nice for this sake. He is not nice because he wishes to spread the good of the world, but because it is easy. He faces no uphill battle and claims to be a gentle soul. Though the most gentle of souls are also those aware that we must all sometimes fight for the truth we hold, stick up for the people we love, and defend our way of life. Even Mother Teresa and Gandhi, two paragons of benevolence weren’t all that nice and fought for their own truths. In fact someone thought Gandhi wasn’t so nice and shot him! To quote Hunter S. Thompson, “Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on the shore and merely existed?” There is nothing impressive about a boat stuck in the harbor in which it was built. Never venturing the seas it was made for.


Why We Don't Respect Nice Guys


It is difficult to imagine death. We are remote from it- being that we are currently in the state of living, yet we are connected to it just as we are with life. All things will die. Nothing in life is perceptively infinite or immortal; the world is in a perpetual changing state and most of it is transitory. One day our best friend could die after being hit by a drunk driver, or our dog succumbs to the perils of old age. It is painful to think of these contingencies, but imperative that we reflect on the mortality of ourselves and others to better our perspective of life at hand.

We watch movies, tv shows, and documentaries filled with an onslaught of death, be it fantasy or reality. We have a grotesque fascination with mortality and yet we wish not to think about it actually happening in our lives. We know that the character killed in the movie is only an actor, we know the chance of us or someone we know being murdered by a serial killer is slim- we love looking at death as though it is a fly in amber and not all around us in constant force. What is taboo or scarce is often coveted by humans by nature, yet death is ubiquitous and simply a part of reality; a primordial natural event. It is this denial of death that makes us see life as an endless summer. If you think you’ll live forever and that time is on your side, life seems to lose its value.

The middle ages looked a tad different from our current day. Animals were killed in the street and were typically not seen as a living thing, but a commodity or beast of burden to be utilized. Death was all around and in view for all to see. Plagues ran rampant where in the streets dead bodies piled up in pyres. Executions were public and heads would roll into a basket or into the feet of a crowd member. Although if you watched the news today it seems this is all going on just outside your front door, death is still hidden from us. We do not witness the death of people we love, typically they are in a hospital or remote location. The picture of the mangled face of a shooting victim is not showcased for all to see, but in its place, one of the individual smiling in happier times. We live in death’s shadow and pretend it will only happen in some far away time. This schism betwixt life and death is why we come to have disdain for life and ignore death. One cannot be thankful for what they have if they can’t imagine it being taken away.

# How to think about mortality

That is all very poetic and scary, but what is advantageous in thinking about death? Would that not make us depressed and anxious? It could, but the point of reflecting on death is not to focus on it alone, but how it compares in juxtaposition to life. If you live life like it has no end, it is impossible to fully appreciate it. Life is like one long road trip: in this road trip the car is a 1974 Ford Pinto with a rod knock, the maps you bought from the side of the road are unreadable and confusing, and your mother-in-law is in the back seat tantalizing you about your driving style. To add to the stress, you are not quite sure how to get there, but you do know eventually you will. Knowing there is an end to anything makes you appreciate the journey towards that end. Near death experiences have the same effect on us; we are reminded of how quickly life can be taken away. If someone you loved was almost taken away from you, the realization of how easily their life can end at any moment would become more apparent and you would be less likely to take them from granted in the future. Life is the same way, we get used to it after living so many years, but once it starts slipping away, appreciating the people who live in it and the things that exist within it becomes much easier. “Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone”, to quote Joni Mitchell.

# The Indifference of Nature

Life is not an equal measure of fair and cruel, but a grayscale for us to interpret. Life and death are equally scary, but there is plenty to appreciate: connecting with someone on a personal level, practicing your craft, working on that book you’ve always wanted to write, the cooling touch of a lover. If you sat around thinking about the brutality of death all the time, it would be no wonder why your head is in a cloud of misery. The point of reflecting on death is not rumination on it all the time, but juxtaposing it with life and finding the equal balance. I personally follow the 80/20 rule with this: 80% enjoying and appreciating life, 20% coming to terms with death and its finality.
It is easy to forget about death; we seem to live the same day in repeat, the good times are fickle and far between, we spiral around the same thoughts every day and suffer the same mistake over and over again. This is why I like to have reminders around my house and work area: a resin model of a human skull, a coin with a maxim about life on it, a piece of paper with reminding or thoughtful words from a writer or philosopher.

Above all else, no one gets out of life alive. Why take seriousness in something that has no inherent meaning and that ends so abruptly? Living life to the fullest is a tired and campy axiom, but who lives the better life: someone who goes out and enjoys themselves, creates meaningful things, and worries less, or the person who ruminates all day on something they have no control over? I certainly would take the former! Life is indifferent either way.


The Importance of Remembering the Finite Nature of Life


I think many of us have found ourselves in this position before: A paper is due at midnight but we spent the day on other activities. Now it’s 9PM and you’re in a state of anxiousness never before realized. Yet somehow, perhaps with the help of interesting drugs, you were able to muster through and finish the work just before the eleventh hour. Maybe it wasn’t your _Ulysses_, but it earned an honest grade and another world-ending crisis was adverted. This is what I call “output” work; using prescience and learned skills to exert your efforts into something external.

Here’s another ostensible but more painful scenario: The big test is coming up and you spent the week before binge watching _13 Reasons Why_. Now it’s the night before and you attempt to cram 12 weeks of material into the ungodly hours between 10 PM and 3 AM. It’s nearly impossible, isn’t it? It is a terrible feeling, and if you’re like me, you never seemed to learn your lesson. This is “input” work; consuming materials and ideas not before explored or understood. It is far harder to compress this action because your mind does not have the time to evaluate, toy with, and sleep on these new ideas.

# Why the difference is important

These two concepts are not hard to grasp: “input” work is a studying event that takes time to process and “output” work is displaying what is already learned, where the difference lies is the time they both take to achieve.

With input work, you must realize that time constraints are not to be pushed down to the wire. Learning is a nebulous process and we all learn a bit differently. We forget 50% of what we learn after only an hour (see Ebbinghaus forgetting curve) and thus I like to think of input work as a muscle that must be worked out frequently if one desires not to allow it to wane. Repetition and time are the keys to success for input work; cramming is rarely a good idea. When you are aware that you will be studying for a contingency, it is wise to review the relevant concepts frequently but to also give space between these sessions. If you need to learn multiple subjects or ideas, breaking them into smaller sections and spacing them apart by concept will reduce memory overload. The biggest reason compressing a studying session into the night before is disadvantageous to our task is the brain is inundated with new and foreign information which it has yet to come to terms with. Learning is like slowly getting used to the cold water in a pool, eventually you forget the arduous journey of feeling confused and lost, only after you’ve given yourself the time and exposure, or that the once arctic waters of the pool are now “room temperature.” Like a frog in an incrementally heated pot.

Output work is enjoying the fruits of your labor. After braving the storm, you are finally able to put the pain of learning into something outside of yourself; an original thing all your own. You are able to constrain yourself and allow a looming deadline to goad you into getting the work done. Eventually you will realize you can always output this work with artificial deadlines. You can force yourself to output for a certain amount of time, maybe the anxiety is not needed after all. Output work is freeing and rewarding because it dismisses us from the pain of trying to memorize and indulge abstract ideas from outside ourselves.

# Personal Reflections

It was not until college that I realized the importance of separating these two concepts. Relying on natural intelligence for things that require input work is typically a bad idea and will lead to unnecessary suffering. When aware of an upcoming event that requires such work, it’s best to start that day while the iron is hot and begin the process of retention of the needed information. This makes it easier to break down the concept into smaller chunks and you can adapt the mentality of “Well I’ve already spent this amount of time on the subject already, might as well spend more.” Using the sunken cost fallacy to your advantage. This will not come naturally, as studying is not natural in itself; the primordial plains were not filled with amanuenses, but hunters and gatherers who had to quickly learn to survive. Driving was once an esoteric abstract, and now most of us zone out for 30 minutes on our way to work. Once you see that learning is a process you can trust, the method to the madness no longer seems remote.


All Posts